I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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