C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
