He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
