Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
