i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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