16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
