White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
