Non-Jews are for practice
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
