Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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