"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
