Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
