sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I didn't notice because vodka
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
