We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
