is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
