also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
