The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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