the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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