tell your sister to shave her snatch
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
