u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
