Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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