i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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