no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think a kid would responsible me up
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
