...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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