Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
love makes seman taste better
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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