Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
