i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize