i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
