Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
