I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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