Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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