i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
