didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
