perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
