I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Buhtt sex?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
