I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
