I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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