I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
When are your genitals available?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
