ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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