Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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