Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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