Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
