do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
