Don't you send me to vm
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
