I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
