he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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