I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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