he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
