Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
