Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
