I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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