I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
