Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
