Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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