yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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