Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
